Stuck, But Still Speaking
I was feeling a bit stuck this week when it came to writing, so I told myself to do the same as I did the other times I write. To just speak about what’s on my mind, heart and the signals my body tells me.
I’ve started noticing a pattern: whenever I feel stuck, I tend to freeze and slip into a victim mindset or numb out through distractions. Without realising it in the moment, I begin storing all those unspoken emotions in my body. In the dissociation, I start to feel misaligned, out of rhythm, disconnected, at dis-ease with myself.
Then, out of nowhere, it all hits me hard: body aches, fatigue, brain fog, hair loss, a racing heart that brings dizziness. And I am forced to seek medical support and deep rest.
But lately I’ve started to recognise this pattern and meet it differently.
I’ve realised that when I acknowledge the sensations, thoughts, and feelings as they gently arise, when I pause, breathe, sit with them, and turn to God in prayer, they begin to ease. For so long, I ignored those quiet signals. I pushed through, betraying my body’s gentle calls for rest, until I’d burn out and become completely immobilised. It was a vicious cycle until I finally had the awareness to see it for what it was.
From there, I began to listen more intently. To honour. To heal. And with each small step forward, I rise—wiser, softer, yet stronger every time.
I can clearly see now that there is a middle ground. To avoid staying stuck we do need to keep moving forward. But to avoid burnout, we also need to pause, to listen and to honour what our body and emotions are trying to tell us.
On Validation and Father Wounds
A recurring theme that came up for me this week is how much I worry, particularly about what others think of me. I questioned my values and what I have to offer, and my need for validation. I know a lot of that stems from my childhood and the lack of love and affection I received from my Dad. Maybe one day I will have the courage to speak more on that.
The thing is, it’s difficult to speak about the people we are “supposed” to love, simply because they are family or someone you have strong ties to. And yes I do love him. But even as I say ‘I love him,’ I feel a tightening in my chest and a quiet conflict within me. Because yes, I love him; without him, I wouldn’t be here, wouldn’t experience this life, or the chance to meet, care for, and love the people I cherish. But I also can’t ignore the pain. I don’t love many of the things he’s done, and that’s hard to hold. It’s a complicated love… one that carries both gratitude and grief.
It’s okay to acknowledge that I was hurt and that other peoples behaviour has left a scar in my heart. The beautiful contrast of acknowledging the pain comes the healing. That pain no longer has to be suppressed or have a hold on me. It gets seen for what it is, felt and released.
This image was from a recent family holiday in West Beach, SA, Australia.
Giving Without Needing Praise
To circle back to when I mentioned the need for validation. What I am realising is that true service, true giving doesn’t come from needing validation. It comes from the heart. We give NOT to be praised. But because it feels good and aligned with who we are. Of course gratitude and kind words can go a long way and lift us up, but we shouldn’t rely on them. Giving is meant to be a selfless act, one that carries no expectation. And whatever comes back is a bonus, not a requirement or an entitlement.
Who’s Watering You?
Another thing that has been weighing on me is the discomfort of one-sided relationships. It used to really get to me. I noticed that when I stopped reaching out, the connections often faded too, it felt like it was almost withering and dying out. That made me wonder had I been the one doing most of the watering. I had to ask myself – but who was watering me? And in that energy of watering others had I neglected to water myself?
I acknowledge that, at various points in my life, I may have been in relationships where the other person felt it was one-sided too. From these experiences, I’ve learned that honesty is paramount. When I sense that I can’t reciprocate the feelings and efforts in the way the other person deserves. I become honest with myself and them, I express where I am at in life openly and if necessary say my goodbyes. This allows them the space to pursue relationships where they are honoured and loved as they deserve and in alignment with the love that God intends for them.
Instead of falling into a victim mindset of “but who is watering me?”, I choose something different. I acknowledged the pain and choose to transmute it. And to be okay in setting boundaries with others. I choose to water myself, to put that energy into things that light me up and rebuild my self-respect and confidence back… like trying a dance class again, to keep creating, crafting and moving my body. I used to practice singing, dancing or bikram yoga nearly every day, but somewhere along the way I lost that same rhythm. But I feel ready to find it again.
The image above is of when I use to practice Bikram yoga consistently. Reflecting on that time makes me so thankful for being at these studios and the instuctors I had guiding me.
Helping vs. Supporting
Something else I had been reflecting on over the last couple of weeks is the difference between helping and supporting and how that can feel from the receiving end. Sometimes when someone tries to help, especially when I haven’t asked for it, it can feel like they see me as needing to be fixed and rescued. Even when I know it comes from a place of care, it can make me feel a bit powerless or like I’m being seen as a victim, which I know is not the intention at all but that’s just how it has made me feel.
What I find is most supportive and empowering is when someone walks alongside me, rather than trying to lead or fix things for me.
Ironically enough, I’ve realised all the times I had a tendency to fall into that “helper” archetype myself. Lately, I’ve been surrounded by people who have gently held up a mirror, helping me see how I might have unintentionally done the same to others, even when I meant well. It’s been humbling and healing to notice that.
What I’ve learned is not to rush in with help unless it’s been asked for. Instead, I try to ask thoughtful questions, especially while someone is processing—questions that come from a genuine desire to understand, not to solve. I remind them I’m here if and when they need support, just like I have been so fortunate enough to have friends and family model how that support looks like.
And when someone thanks me for holding space, I try to reflect that back. I thank them for trusting me enough to share and open up. Because I know how deeply personal that process can be. To keep my ego in check and to truly honour the strength each person holds within, I remind myself that: It was them all along. They did the work. They moved through it. They released… I merely just walked beside while they did. That I should be the thankful one. Because what a true honour it is to feel connected to another soul and to glimpse the world through the lens of their lived experience.
The Quiet Work of Healing
So as I wrap up these reflections, I return to a truth I shared in my first blog: healing isn’t always loud or dramatic. More often, it lives in the quiet moments when we choose to listen, honour our feelings, and show up for ourselves. From that place, showing up for others becomes a natural extension. Whether it’s learning to sit with discomfort or recognising when to walk beside someone rather than trying to fix them, each small shift moves us closer to wholeness.
I’m learning to water my own roots, to move through life with both strength and softness, and to offer presence, not solutions, to myself and others. It’s not always easy, but it’s honest. Healing unfolds in setting boundaries, nurturing our own growth, and gently reclaiming the parts of ourselves we once abandoned. I may not be where I once was, and I may not yet be where I’m headed, but I’m learning to move forward with grace, one honest step at a time.
This image is from Pixabay https://pixabay.com/
This blog is written from the heart. It reflects my own inner voice, stories and grounded insights. AI supported with minor editing.
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